Life With Clay

My apologies. I won’t be able to write a blog update this week because we are breaking in a new type of dishwashing soap.

I’m sure you understand.

New bottles of dishwashing soap – with their intriguing shapes, alluring colors, inherent squeezability – draw Clay’s attention. We try hard to stick with the same brand to avoid these issues -we really do. But sometimes circumstances dictate a change. We are in the midst of such a change, and it is all consuming.

There is no point in hiding the new bottle. We could put it inside a paper bag, inside of a box, inside of a safe, inside of a darkened corner of the locked basement. Clay will know it is there. He will find it. My worries about his eyesight (How do you give a nonverbal kid who can’t sit still an eye test?) are generally alleviated when something new enters the house. We could place a magnet the size of an ant’s kneecap on the back of the refrigerator. Old eagle eye will spot it, as he shoots through the kitchen at nearly 100 miles per hour, and carry it off to some far distant corner of the house. Where one of the dogs will sniff it out and chew it up.

We boldly put the new dishwashing bottle above the sink where the old one was. Like ripping off a band aid, we face the music directly. Delays accomplish nothing. Moments later it will be gone. For several days afterwards, it will appear in odd places throughout the house. On the back of the toilet seat in the upstairs bathroom. On Clay’s dresser. Next to the dog on the sofa. In the garage underneath Clay’s monster swing. Each time we find it, we put it back in its spot above the sink. Within seconds it will be gone – only to turn up in the hamper in the laundry room. After three or four days, the new dishwashing soap loses its appeal and the bottle will stay in its assigned spot.

We haven’t reached that nirvana just yet, so I’m sure you can see why I don’t have time to update the blog this week. Maybe next week. Although recently Clay has discovered the phone book, which he likes to carry through the house and out into the backyard – leaving a trail of torn pages behind him. And when I went to buy Handi Wipes this afternoon, the store was all out of the usual blue. I had to buy green. So, there’s that to deal with.

Well, maybe next week. Unless, of course, the new Lands’ End catalog arrives, which is just perfect for squeezing and tearing. Then, it might be another week. We’ll just have to see.