Posts Tagged father of son with autism
Birthday Cheer
Posted by Larry Blumenthal in Communicating, Daily Life on July 8, 2010
We were caught in that no man’s land between ordering our meal and its arrival, when Clay started to wail. Saturday night. People packed into booths and tables all around us. Harried waiter. Dishes clattering. Other diners sneaking glances at our table. Clay flailing and crying. What do we do?
We usually get take-out on Saturday night, since the possibility of this kind of scene makes it difficult to relax and enjoy a meal out. But it was Clay’s 15th birthday, and—given the choice on his keyboard—he requested the meal out. Read the rest of this entry »
Keepin’ it Real
Posted by Larry Blumenthal in Communicating, Daily Life on July 2, 2010
One night this week, my wife was using the keyboard to let Clay know that he was taking a trip to a nearby state park at camp the next day. His typed response?
“Cool deal.”
It is easy to forget that Clay, who will turn 15 tomorrow, is a teenager. Lately, he’s been making the point on the keyboard.
I was struggling a few weeks back to get him to type with me. He was deliberately typing gibberish, most likely because I wasn’t offering the right support or pressure that he needed. My wife grabbed the keyboard and sat next to him on the bed. Read the rest of this entry »
Cherry on Top
Posted by Larry Blumenthal in Communicating on June 29, 2010
Sunday night I was reading a magazine in our living room when Clay came in and handed me a cup. His way of saying, “Please get me something to drink.” A good soldier, I followed him back to the kitchen and got him in front of the keyboard.
“What do you want to drink?”
“Soda.”
“What flavor?”
“Black cherry.”
I poured about a third of a can into his cup and sent him on his way. (We’ve learned to fill his cup a little at a time because of his penchant for dumping liquids.) I went back to my magazine. Read the rest of this entry »
Battling the Leathernecks
Posted by Larry Blumenthal in Daily Life, Silly Behaviors on June 25, 2010
We took Clay swimming on Father’s Day, and nearly wound up in a brawl. Let me explain.
Clay, his older brother, my wife and I spent the day at my parent’s house, one of the few homes we visit that calms the little guy. The open floor plan and lack of clutter seems to work for him. He’ll circle through the living room, kitchen and dining area, check out the den, then retreat to the quiet of their finished basement, where he spends most of his time. You always need that escape room. After a few hours of him wandering while we stuffed our faces and caught up with my family, Clay’s usual steady line of patter turned agitated. The keyboard was retrieved. Read the rest of this entry »
Hot Lips
Posted by Larry Blumenthal in Daily Life, Silly Behaviors on June 17, 2010
Most nights during the week I cook french fries in the oven for Clay. He likes to eat by 5:30, while the rest of the family isn’t home and ready to eat until about an hour later. To keep us all sane, Clay eats a light dinner—french fries and a hot dog or chicken nuggets—at 5:30, then joins us for the full dinner at 6:30. Two dinners? you ask, one eyebrow arching slightly. Yes, two dinners. The little guy is always on the move, burning fuel like a Chevy Suburban. Even when he is eating, he rarely sits down. Two dinners works out just fine, thank you very much.
I used to put the fries in the oven and go off to get some work done on my laptop for 20 minutes. Can’t do that anymore. Clay does not do the waiting thing well. He opens the oven every three minutes to see if the fries are done, yet. I’ve caught him once or twice eating still-frozen fries he swiped off the edge of the pan. Now I stand guard, usually sitting on the counter next to the oven reading the newspaper or a magazine. At long last, the timer dings, and I pull the fries out. This is where the serious wrestling begins. Read the rest of this entry »
That Smile
Posted by Larry Blumenthal in Daily Life on June 10, 2010
I started working from home about three months ago, which means I’m generally the one standing at the end of the driveway when Clay’s bus pulls up across the street around 3:20 each afternoon. Nearly every day, he bursts off that little yellow bus and crosses toward me in a series of small leaps and skips, a broad smile lighting up his face. He holds his backpack in his left hand for me to take, runs his hand along my shirt to feel the texture, then bounds up the driveway, down the path and in the backdoor in the same hop, skip and jump fashion. My heart fills up just watching him.
Five minutes later, Read the rest of this entry »
Happy Feet
Posted by Larry Blumenthal in Communicating, Daily Life on June 2, 2010
We made it up the steps to our local high school and into the lobby when Clay pulled up short. We could hear the music pounding in the cafeteria. Some sort of techno beat. Clay let out an agitated bark and bolted down the hall in the other direction. It was Friday night, and the school was deserted except for the dance.
Clay managed to push through a set of swinging doors and run most of the way down a long hallway lined with lockers before we caught up with him. He was stamping his feet, crying and pacing like a caged tiger sensing meal time.
We nudged him into a quiet stairwell and whipped out the keyboard. Read the rest of this entry »
Weekend Away
Posted by Larry Blumenthal in Communicating on May 18, 2010
Family occasions create dilemmas for us.
This past weekend our niece (my brother’s middle child) graduated from college. My brother and his wife rented a house in a new subdivision near the campus and invited the family to spend the weekend, including me, my wife and our two sons. We had to make a decision.
We all wanted to be there to help celebrate a family milestone. On a selfish level, I usually fight to keep my small end of the family together on holidays and other big occasions. Seems like family members should be with each other at those times, and some inconvenience shouldn’t get in the way. Sometime reality wins out, though. And I have to admit I don’t fight as hard anymore. If we all went, it would mean a high-stress weekend for me, my wife and Clay—and the risk of putting stress on the rest of the family and getting in the way of my niece’s moment. Read the rest of this entry »
Sticky Situation
Posted by Larry Blumenthal in Silly Behaviors on May 11, 2010
I’ve mentioned before that Clay enjoys pouring things out. We’ve long since learned to keep shampoos, mouthwashes, liquid soap and other “pourables” behind locked doors, along with the paper towels and napkins (a topic for another day). Forget about hydrogen peroxide or witch hazel. We smuggle them into the house in unmarked bags like winos in a cheap hotel and still the bottles will be empty within hours. It is an obsession that is as puzzling as it is maddening.
The last few days Clay has been dumping juice. Read the rest of this entry »
A Mother’s Day Message
Posted by Larry Blumenthal in Communicating on May 10, 2010
I remember my wife’s first Mother’s Day vividly. Clay’s older brother, our first child, was about eight months old, and he had a fever. I stayed home with him, while my wife visited her mother. The little guy did not want to be put down, so I spent a long afternoon wandering the house carrying him, talking to him and feeding him liquid acetaminophen at appropriate intervals. When my wife came home around dinner time, she took him from me, and he promptly vomited all over her. Welcome to motherhood. That became the yardstick by which we have measured all subsequent Mother’s Days. (“At least no one threw up on me.”) Until this year. Read the rest of this entry »
Life With Clay 