Archive for category Communicating

Sitter Search

The woman who has been sitting with Clay four afternoons a week gave her notice this week, sending us scrambling for a replacement.

Clay is in high school, so gets home by 2:30 most days, leaving a long afternoon ahead. The little guy needs some down time, a chance to “decompress” from school. But we also want his afternoons to be productive, filled with activities, typing, reading, homework and a minimum of “stimming” (rolling on the floor, jumping on the bed, etc.)

So, we have two weeks to find a new sitter with the right personality, experience with autism and, preferably, a background in special education. I had to double-check my math, but this will be our sixth sitter in a little more than a year and a half. That’s a lot of change. (I don’t think it’s me, but to be safe, I’m vowing to begin showering at least twice a week going forward.) Read the rest of this entry »

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Super Sunday

The sun was shining Sunday afternoon and the thermometer read a balmy 40 degrees. A good day to stretch our legs at a nearby state park before the next storm hits in what feels like an endless winter. Clay, my wife, our basset hound Miles and I piled in the car with visions of clear trails running along the snow covered forest. Deer lapping quietly at the edge of the icy creek. Canada geese honking and splashing.

Turns out we weren’t the only ones with those visions. Read the rest of this entry »

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The Gift

Mailman bearing giftsAs soon as I saw the return address on the package I had a pretty good idea what was inside.

The package, from a good friend in Colorado, was addressed to both of us, so I left it on the counter with the other mail for my wife to open.

What did I think it was? I mentioned in a blog post around Christmas that Clay had broken a couple of ornaments, including a fragile Grinch globe that we had been hanging on our tree for 20 years.  I know our friend in Colorado is a huge fan of Dr. Seuss, like Clay, and an avid reader of this blog. Putting two and two together, I figured it was a replacement ornament.

It turned out to be a much more generous gesture. Read the rest of this entry »

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Quiet House

Two brothers standing next to each otherMy wife started it.

Attempting to get some conversation going with Clay on the keyboard he uses to communicate, she typed: “The house is quiet without your brother here.”

We had dropped Clay’s older brother back at college that afternoon after a five-week winter break.

“So true,” Clay typed back. “We are sad that he is back at school. Sorry that he is not here.”

It seemed like it would end there, but it didn’t. Read the rest of this entry »

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Going Social

Image of article in newspaper

Friday morning, I showed Clay the article I wrote about him in the Philadelphia Inquirer, but, in all honesty, he was more interested in why his waffles weren’t out of the toaster oven, yet. Knowing that he is always listening and absorbing, though, we kept him updated throughout the weekend on the activity and comments.

The response to the article was overwhelming.

For a good portion of the weekend, the article was the second most shared item on the Inquirer’s Web site (and the most read in the opinion section). More than 300 people recommended it on Facebook. Traffic to this blog hit more than 10 times the typical number, and continued much heavier than normal throughout the weekend.

The article was touted on Twitter and even appeared in the Associated Press newsfeed. The number of Clay’s fans on Facebook more than doubled. And, most important, comments flooded in to the blog, the Inquirer, the Life with Clay Facebook page and via email. There was a wonderful, warm outpouring from parents, teachers, family, friends and even people who hadn’t before understood autism. Read the rest of this entry »

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So Popular

When I learned that a commentary I wrote about Clay, and how funny he is, was going to appear in the Philadelphia Inquirer, I realized there was something important I had neglected to do.

I have been chronicling a lot of intimate details of Clay’s life over the past 10 months. What he had to say the first time he typed. His message to his Mom on Mother’s Day. His first school dance. His 15th birthday. The loss of our dog. His first horseback ride. The first story he ever wrote. The amazing day when he appeared on a panel at Arcadia University.

I’ve written exactly 50 posts. Some made fun of his quirky behaviors like compulsively turning on lights or stripping our Christmas tree of its decorations. Others shared his anxiety over school or how much his camp counselors enjoyed their time with him.

Here’s what I didn’t do. In all that time, I never asked my son what he thought about having his life shared so publicly. Read the rest of this entry »

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Ready or Not

Sunday night, as we prepared for Clay to head back to school, my wife asked for the little guy’s thoughts on his Christmas vacation.

“So awesome,” he typed, standing in the kitchen.

“What was your favorite part?”

“We were at home.” (We visited my wife’s family Christmas eve and ran a few errands here and there, but, mostly, Clay hung out in the house, typing “stay here” when we asked what he wanted to do. He enjoyed his downtime.)

My wife followed him up to his room with a question about the coming year.

“What would you like to accomplish in the new year?” Read the rest of this entry »

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Funny Voice

I’m about to reveal a deep dark family secret.

Just about everyone in our family does an imitation of my mother. Back in the day, a comedian couldn’t make it without impressions of Ed Sullivan, Richard Nixon and Howard Cosell. At our family events, you need to have Grandmom Barbara in your repertoire.

My Mom taught kindergarten for more than 35 years, and she has never lost the cadence of a kindergarten teacher sharing a fascinating lesson with five-year-olds.

A typical phone message to us will start, “Kids?” Pause. “It’s Mom.” Pause. “I just wanted to make sure everyone is safe in the snow.” Pause.  All said with a sing-song intonation that is a tad too loud. Mom, if you are reading this, you should know that the imitations are done with great affection.

Clay may be the only one who doesn’t have a Grandmom Barbara impression down. But that didn’t stop him from joining the fun over the holidays. Read the rest of this entry »

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Miles to Go

Relations seem to be warming between Clay and Miles, the basset hound we adopted two months ago. We don’t know a lot about our new dog’s background. What we do know is that he was found tied behind an abandoned house, half starved and suffering from heart worm. Even though he is seven years old, most of the experiences of being part of a family seem new to him. It has been interesting watching Clay respond to that, especially as we worked our way through Christmas and the subsequent snowstorm this past week. Read the rest of this entry »

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Christmas Cheer

Clay opening a present

Opening a gift on Christmas morning

Just when I think I’ve started to figure Clay out, he tosses a curve ball.

He had what we thought was a full Christmas this year.

We spent Christmas Eve with my wife’s family. She is one of five, so it was a full house at her brother’s place. We know from experience to prepare for the possibility that Clay won’t last long. So, my wife and older son arrived around 3 p.m. Clay and I showed up fashionably late around 5 p.m.

The party was in full swing when we got there. (I’ve noticed that the greetings are louder and warmer if you arrive when everyone is already a couple beers ahead of you.) Clay typed “Merry Christmas” on the keyboard he uses to communicate, shook a few hands (my wife’s family doesn’t let him get away without a greeting), typed “Sorry to hear about your dog.” for my sister-in-law who received some sad news about one of the family’s cocker spaniels recently, then shot upstairs to the comparative quiet of the landing. Read the rest of this entry »

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